My breakup with A-town

I feel absolutely horrible that I've neglected my blog. I mean, this summer was probably my most wired summer since I can remember, and then I get back to Atlanta and it seems like my internet persona ceases to exist! I really miss that aspect of San Francisco. The fact that it's normal to be online, to write a blog, to review on yelp, to have a flickr page... Atlanta will get there one day, but like most things in the South - we're always one or two steps behind the rest of the country.

So it's been about two months since I last posted. My last entry reflected on leaving the West Coast, my doubts, hopes fears, and excitement at what new things would be coming my way. I will attempt to give a brief overview of how things have been going thusfar and my predictions for the future.

These last two months in Atlanta have been probably the most difficult since I moved here the summer of 2006. The newness of Atlanta has worn off and I find myself struggling to reconnect to a city that I was once so excited about. I find myself constantly comparing the city to other places that I have lived, and it's very infrequent that the comparison is in Atlanta's favor. When looking back on my summer out West - when I was constantly defending Atlanta as being a great place to live, and how much I missed it - I realize now that I was romanticizing the few things that won out, and even some of the things that were borderline that I have now realized have fallen on the wrong side of my proverbial fence.

It's hard, I guess, to move from San Francisco to anywhere else in the country. It truly is a remarkable city. I am trying not to do with San Francisco what I did with Atlanta, and that is romanticize the good things (and some of the bad) while forgetting the problems that I did have with the city. I keep telling myself that the crime is more in your face in SF than ATL, the city is dirtier than most (despite it's reputation at being very green and environmentally friendly), the music scene seems to be a bit lacking, the gays are the most aggressive of any city I've lived in... Unfortunately my "con" list for ATL continues much further than the one I'm trying to keep for SF: traffic, gas prices, smog, lower salaries, being surrounded by a sea of political red, and just a general lack of connection with the rest of the country as to what's cool and new and fun. ATL really is an oasis - and I think that's my biggest problem. I'm too social of a person to feel as isolated as I do.

I really don't want this entry to sound as negative as the direction it is currently heading. I have alot of friends in the city, and alot of friends who are ATL natives whom I really do not want to offend. But what it boils down to is different strokes for different folks. ATL is great for a certain type of person and it just doesn't seem like it's great for me. And it's definitely not for lack of trying - I've invested so much time and effort, much more than any other city I've lived in, to really be able to call ATL home. Something just still seems to be missing, and I think it's just a matter of chemistry. It's not you ATL, it's me. This relationship just simply is not going to work.

I think a big contributing factor to my feelings of isolation and my lack of chemistry with this city is the fact that I spend a good hour or so every day alone in my car. I rarely walk anywhere - despite my efforts to be outside as much as possible. I even moved to a more walkable neighborhood to facilitate my desire to know the city, to meet my neighbors, and become friendly with my immediate surroundings. Being in my car so much allows me to know street names really well, but that's all I'm really looking at. I'm too focused on the routes, the bad drivers, and not crashing my car to really take a good look at this city. I feel disconnected, but I feel like ATL is not making it easier to not be this way. The thing I liked the most about SF was the incredible public transportation system. It forced me to get out of the car and take a look at exactly what was situated along my route as opposed to the route itself. I walked more, I looked around more, I took more detours, and I really got to learn my surroundings. This also happened in Boston and Madrid - two other places with incredible public transport.

Despite my protests about ATL, I'm still trying to make the most of what time I have remaining. My short list of places I love has quickly grown into my short list of places I'm obsessed with for the sole reason that I frequent them practically every day. I'm still trying to explore new places and hangouts in a desperate attempt to make this city mine again. I will reconnect goddammit! I definitely take the attitude that one is way more miserable if he allows himself to be. I know ATL is not for me, but for now I'm stuck here so I might as well make good.

I know this post may be offensive to my friends who are native Atlantans, or who have settled into ATL as their permanent home. I know that as my friends, you will understand and appreciate my efforts (and continued efforts) to really love this city. I know you will understand that I have given it my all, and that sometimes we just have to realize that instead of letting my views on this city fester and spoil, that I'm going out on as good a note that I am able with my good memories as intact as they are able to be. Thank you ATL, you were a great growing experience for me. I'm ready for my next challenge.